Bachelor Pad Finale - Tidal River of Barf

day ninety two | kiptyn from the bachelorette, originally uploaded by Photos by Hula.

Ugh, I cannot believe how many precious hours of my life were wasted watching this garbage. Actually, I can. I watch terrible TV, including my new find, Obese & Pregnant.

Here is a list of why this finale was the worst:

- Dave, who was a 'no means yes' type of guy on Gillian's season of the Bachelorette, won! And he was somewhat popular! He has total crazy eyes.

-Dumb-dumb Natalie also won!

-Wes (who was pure evil in Gillian's season) has turned into a likable guy. How did everyone forget his scheming ways so soon? AND - what was probably the worst thing all evening - they let him sing again. ANNNND the cast knew the words to his songs!!!

-Gia, who I used to like, turned out to be a Wes-loving moron

-Deep-V spandex onesies on Dave and Kovacs. Kiptyn kept it classy in a tux.

-Did you see the disconnect in colour between Krisily's orange face and her neck?

BUT, there were also some highlights:

-Dave planting a wet kiss on host Chris Harrison

-Not hearing Tenley squeal of happiness

-Crazy Michelle. Speaking of whom, here is a video in which Michelle made Tenley cry:

Hollywood Cruelty

Since its inception, Hollywood has been pairing relatively unattractive leading men with gorgeous women. A recent example occurred in Cyrus, which matched the hilarious, but facially-challenged John C. Reilly with Marissa Tomei. Normally this would irk me, but I'd get over it and suspend my disbelief. That is, until I saw the ad for Jack Goes Boating. First, Philip Seymour Hoffman. Second, Philip Seymour Hoffman with blonde dreads. Third, is it wrong of me to infer that he is mildly "special" in this film? Are viewers really supposed to believe that Jack could really land a date with Holly from The Office? I think we need to even things out with a rom-com starring Rachel Dratch as a down-on-her-luck janitor in a full body cast landing Javier Bardem, a sensitive, smart, and funny pediatrician.

See preview here: http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/independent/jackgoesboating/