Jimmy Fallon's Got Talent

Worst Song Ever?

Sorry for possibly ruining your Friday by posting this song. Is that an auto-tuned "Weird" Al Yankovic singing in there?

At least that Heidi Montag garbage came with a video of her nearly naked... ugh, that's still no consolation, ever.

Old Guys Being Gross

Serge Gainsbourg vs. Whitney Houston:


Serge Gainsbourg vs. Whitney Houston
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The best part of this video is how the host translates Gainsbourg's English into English.

Joe Namath vs. Suzy Kolber



What a catch!

Lassie's Going to Tear Someone a New Asshole

This is such a tragic story!



According to the New York Times, Target, an Afghanistan hero dog was euthanized by mistake at an American shelter. Check out the full story here: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/19/us/19dog.html?_r=1&ref=global-home# (P.S. this photo is not Target, but a dog called Sergeant Stubby).

You know who would never let that happen? Vladimir Putin.

Worst Prank EVER

Holy crap, this is terrible. But the people involved seem like they have a positive attitude.

According to Gawker, "Rachelle Friedman's bridesmaids pushed her into a pool's shallow end, breaking her neck and leaving her paralyzed from the chest down. Now she can't marry her fiance because their combined income would cause her to lose her Medicaid benefits."

Check out the clip here: http://abcnews.go.com/US/bride-paralyzed-freak-bachelorette-party-accident/story?id=12163284

Yipes. Here's a funnier wedding mishap:

Check Me Out

Sometimes I feel Saved by the Bell should have been more A.C.-centric... seriously.

Hump Day

A little acoustic Digital Underground action to get you to the end of the week:

Colourblind

So, I'm colourblind. Not full on see the world like an old-timey movie, but certain ranges of blues and greens I can't distinguish. And, when I tell people this, well, this is how it goes down:

Live Blogging Gossip Girl

- Who is making concentric circles with coloured pencils about Serena, Dan and Nate? It's definitely a man's hands...but why who would consider them all "cute"? Ah. The gay boys. But, "sincere poetry" is used to describe Dan and Serena?? And "athletic lacrosse" is used to describe Nate and Serena??! Someone didn't pay attention in grade four.

-Retraction and apology Serena? Looks like you will have to recall every tabloid ever made (get it? because she's a floozy! ha ha!)

-Do you think Dorota hides behind the door every time Blair is in a room on the off chance she will yell for her?

-Checkmate Lily, finally steppin' up her game.

-Ew, Jenny is the "kind of surprise" I receive when diarrhea accidentally squeezes from my butt. Sorry.

-Has Chuck gotten more breathy than usual?

-Did I direct this episode with my video editing kit I got in 1992? Too many wipe shots (with sounds effects!)

-I really doubt Nate would have enough smarts to want to meet at the Frick

-Serena, you had sex with every man in France, and nearly every man on the show - is it really far-fetched for Lily to think there's another dirty secret?

-As if no one can tell Jenny and Juliette's nasty hair from Serena's.

-Poor cherub Eric.

-Wait, Serena has the dean on text message? Isn't there a registration/admin department at Columbia? Oh right. There is no logic and reason to Gossip Girl.

Theme Song Metal Mayhem!

Who you gonna call?



And where is... the Batman?



Why does it always have to be snakes?



When the evil Shredder attacks, those turtle boys won't cut him no slack:



C'est le dernier dinosaure:



Go Go Gadget:



And finally, YES! \m/(^_^)\m/ YES! \m/(^_^)\m/ YES! \m/(^_^)\m/:

Family Feud Hilarity!

I feel like someone had naked grandmas on the brain to begin with - he was so quick to answer!

It's the weekend - time to celebrate!

Guess the directors of The Cove didn't see this awesome clip, otherwise they might have rethought the whole 'captivity is bad' thesis.

Conan's BACK!

Last night Conan O'Brian made his triumphant return to television. Despite an awkward bitter part during the monologue and having a non-funny manorexic Seth Rogan as a first host, it was a great show. And here's my favourite Triumph the insult comic dog sketch:


Triumph The Insult Comic Dog - Star Wars
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Canada's Jersey Shore

Is "cesspool of humanity" too harsh a term?

Yikes, I don't remember Jersey Shore being this racist. Way to go Toronto, nice advertisement for multiculturalism: the Pole, the Jew, the Albanian...yipes. I'm sure Rob Ford will be watching.

Live Blogging Gossip Girl

-Ladies knock; ergo, Serena is NOT a lady.

-Life is tough; get a helmet. Thanks for the great advice B. But there is no way that GG can make helmets skanky enough for S.

-Ew. What is Juliette wearing? I didn't think they had Limite in the US. She's trying to be Amanda Woodward circa 1993.

-is that a silk shirt, ruf? the ruf, the ruf, the ruf is on fire!

-"go for broke" - that plan never fails.

-let me guess what serena's packing: an assortment of dresses with holes cut out.

-QUACK! QUACK! dan (the duck) the p.i. is on the case

-hmmm, looks like nate might need to enlist the services of dan the p.i.

-passport stamped - new euphemism!

-question: did nate get a perm? or is his hair his way of emoting his sad self?

-QUACK! good and QUACK! salient points, daniel the duck. QUACK!

-eeew. why is arthur a total perv? what kind of creepy eye smirk, was that?

-buffet? buffin?

-does no one go to columbia? how can buffin/buffet and S. have a full-on convo in the halls?

-you are not molly ringwald, juliette do not pull the wrong side of the tracks bullshit. would nate archibald want to date me if he knew i did my own hair? someone thinks she's (all the way) with stephanie kaye (i'm dating myself with degrassi: the old generation references).

-blair is living The Life: macarons, bubble bath...pistachio macacrons!

-ben was a teacher. another piece of side-plot No One Cares About

-it's a dream: head to toe purple velour holding a pistachio macaron. chuck bass i love you.

-sidebar: colin is actually a boy genius...or rather a 34 year old princeton hottie with a major in evolutionary biology and ecology. hot science nerd!

-constantine maroulis! (in the background)

-he resigned? after knowing Serena for a few weeks? what chapter of the book deals with how to be an idiot?

-sad quack. dan's staring for a littttttle too long.

-black collar for realsies, chuck?

-how did vanessa get into the ballet? and when did she turn totally evil? the extensions must be emitting bad thoughts into her brain

-I love how the Dean of Columbia is sorting out GG drama

-SWTF! Wow the gang's pretty harsh on Juliet. Although the crack about her hair was pretty funny.

-Wait? Why are they breaking up? (my guess, her dress). Serena is suchhhhhh a ho. Calling Dan right away?

-Poor Duck! Always lurking in the background!

The Perfect Bid

Wow! A perfect double showcase winning bid on The Price is Right... but wait, why is Drew so blasé about this momentous bid?

Turns out there's much more to this story. Was it cheating or just an amazing chance? Esquire has the story for you here: TV's Crowning Moment of Awesome

And because everyone loves game shows... here's a lady solving a long phrase on Wheel of Fortune, with just one letter (and punctuation):

Deal of the Day

Some crazy grandmother in Florida tried to sell her grandson for $30,000. What's even more shocking is that the purchaser bargained her down from $75,000! That's quite the bargain! I would love to take that person with me to the flea market.

Here's the story from the Toronto Star:

DAYTONA BEACH, FLA.—A Florida woman and her boyfriend have been charged with trying to sell her infant grandson for $30,000.

Florida Department of Law Enforcement agents arrested 45-year-old Patty Bigbee and 42-year-old Lawrence Works on Friday in Daytona Beach after they met with an agent posing as a buyer. Both were charged with illegal sale or surrender of a child, and Bigbee was also charged with communication fraud.

FDLE agent Wayne Ivey said an investigation began last month after an informant told authorities the woman was trying to sell the baby. Authorities say the woman originally wanted $75,000 but was talked down to $30,000.

The child’s mother is currently incarcerated on unrelated charges.

The infant has been turned over to child welfare officials.

My Jams

It's Friday, someone's been dancing already... these are the jams!

Live Blogging Gossip Girl

-why is B licking her own envelopes? Where the eff is dorota for these menial, potentially fatal (see: Constanza, George), tasks?

-Deadliest catch, S? That would be your crabs. Ew.

-why are Ruf's pants tighter than Dan's butthole?

-Aw, Eric's all grown up, Danny DeVito-style.

-as if S. knows what a peace treaty is...

-serena and nate are attorneys-at-hair

-Serena, you are so dumb. Why are you talking to obviously-fake-schemer Juliet?

-"Unless you mean Firth or Farrell, I'm not listening": excellent quote B

-dorota is so wise, like a polish yoda

(sidebar: why is taylor swift everywhere? there is no explanation for why CHFI insists on playing her songs all the goddamn time. i'm on team kanye.)

-Dear Random at the Party, thanks for the CEO of Pepsi tip.

-Blair is the voice of reason. She must have learned it from Dorota.

-Speaking of Dorota, she cleans up nice. Her speech, however, was a bit of a snoozer.

-best ever! rachel zoe covered in chocolate...calories are being absorbed through her skin. "I...die."

-whoa slit, serena. what is the point of sheathing yourself in lime green silk if it's going to be a crotch shot anyways.

-wow. rufus. lily's personal coat-check.

-that firey feeling Chuck is not hatred. It's syphilis.

-Um, ew. Why the grainy video? As if B would agree to sleezy hooker sex on her mom's piano

-FYI, here's what you get when you YouTube "Connie Chung piano":

The Rent is Too Damn High - UP Remix

I'd vote for this guy...