Thursday, September 30, 2010

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Goes Gaga

Here's a video of JGL signing Bad Romance. I thought I would love it, but I kind of hate it.

This will make it better:

Actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt takes a ride through the streets of New York City, New York on August 19, 2010 as he shoots scenes from his latest film Premium Rush .  Fame Pictures, Inc

Wait, what's the chain for?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt photographed this afternoon as he prepares behind the scenes and shoots scenes for his latest film Premium Rush, currently filming on location in New York City, NY on July 29, 2010  Fame Pictures, Inc

Nice underwear.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 13: Actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt arrives to premiere of Warner Bros. 'Inception' at Grauman's Chinese Theatre on July 13, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)

Bow tie!

31029, VAN NUYS, CALIFORNIA, Wednesday, May 20, 2009, Natalie Portman and Joseph Gordon-Levitt film scenes for the new movie Hesher in Van Nuys. Hesher is the story of a family struggling to deal with a loss and the anarchist who helps them do it. Photograph: Pedro Andrade, PacificCoastNews.comÂ


PARK CITY, UT - JANUARY 21:  Actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt attends the 2009 Sundance Film Festival on January 21, 2009 in Park City, Utah.  (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

Much better.

Double Hotness

So adorable, so versatile, very enjoyable

Monday, September 27, 2010

Live Blogging Gossip Girl

Photo by: KGC11/ 2010  7/28/10 Ed Westwick at the CBS Summer 2010 Press Tour Party. (Beverly Hills, CA)  Photo via Newscom

Okay - when did Chuck lose the limp and cane?

Really Dan? Really, you can't believe the baby's not yours? You are stupider than...someone who is REALLY stupid. God.

And Rufus, you just told your son that his baby's not his - and you ditch him for Chuck Bass? Wait, that's a good call Ruf. Dan's a fucking moron.

What's with Chuck's gf? She's not a great actress and she's not stereotypically pretty? Is she an international celebrity in real life?

Eva to Chuck: "You're used to all these things, the cars and clothes and spa...and roof?" Was Eva homeless?

Oh snap! Eric's dropping the date rape bomb!!! And calling Rufus "Rufus", not "dad"

3 Men and a Baby was a FICTIONAL movie Vanessa.

Man, Serena really can't stand not to be in the spotlight for one minute.

"I'm truly sorry" - that doesn't erase near statutory rape.

Ha! Double snap on Juliette - who do you think you're messing with? Dorota's in the house. I like how Lily siddled in on this shit.

Bye Baby Milo - you were the worst plot idea ever.

For a dirty hippie, Vanessa sure has a ton of clothes.

"It's a prayer rug"??? - as if Vanessa's mom would subscribe to any religion

Best ending line ever: "Trouble's moving in, and it's looking to make the Upper East Side its bitch. xoxo Gossip Girl."

Most Tanned Celebrities

Before Seasonal Affective Disorder sets in as the days grow shorter, let's take a moment to appreciate the graying skies. If we lived in a country of perpetual sun, we could end up like these orange faced celebs.

LONDON, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 08: Giorgio Armani attends Fashion's Night Out At Armani on Bond Street on September 8, 2010 in London, England. (Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

Giorgio Armani in a delightful burnt sienna

May 24, 2010 - New York, New York, U.S. - Designer VALENTINO GARAVANI attends the world premiere of 'Sex And The City 2' held at Radio City Music Hall. © Red Carpet Pictures

Rival designer Valentino rocking the ginge face

Comedy Central Roast Of David Hasselhoff held at The Sony Pictures Studios in Culver City, California on August 1st, 2010. George Hamilton                                           Fame Pictures, Inc

Classic tan man George Hamilton loving life

Janice Dickinson sunburned but still smiling dines this evening at Madeo Restaurant in West Hollywood Ca on August 4, 2009. Fame Pictures, Inc

Janice Dickinson looking scary for a number of reasons

Looking sunburn and tired, Jon Gosselin steps out on the evening of July 20, 2009 in New York City, New York to shop at Duane Reed for a Swiffer Sweeper mop. Fame Pictures, Inc

Barf. Someone forgot his Ed Hardy sunglasses on in the sun

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - JANUARY 28: Actress Tara Reid attends the Project We The Children benefit at the House of Blues on January 28, 2010 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Gah!!!! Tara Reid. Enough said.

Music to My Ears: Sound of Music Reunion!

Christopher Plummer and Julie Andrews at the Society of Singers' 10th Annual Ella Award presentation to singer, actress Dame Julie Andrews at the Beverly Hilton, Beverly Hills, Ca. 4/25/01. Los Angeles. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

Stop the press! I just found out that Captain Georg von Trapp and governess Maria will be having a reunion on Oprah! reports that on October 29 the cast will unite after 45 years. I only hope that shit face Rolf won't be attending.

I know I have a tendency to sometimes blur fantasy and reality, but there are some big time weirdos on the internet that have taken the whole Maria-Georg love affair into another stratosphere. See below for some uncomfortable montages:

Not Funny Segway Tale

FORT WORTH, TX  JANUARY 14 -  Actor and comedian Kevin James skids out in the infield grass while celebrating after racing NASCAR stock cars with his Segway to promote the release of his new movie, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop' at Texas Motor Speedway in Fort Worth, Texas.  James was not injured in the fall.  (Photo By Tom Pennington/Getty Images for the Texas Motor Speedway)

This story was printed in Yahoo today:

LONDON (AFP) - The British owner of the firm that makes the Segway scooter died after riding one of the futuristic two-wheeled machines over a cliff and into a river, police said Monday.

The body of millionaire Jimi Heselden, 62, was discovered in the River Wharfe near his home in the town of Boston Spa in northern England on Sunday, said a spokeswoman for West Yorkshire Police.

"A Segway-style vehicle was recovered from the scene," the spokeswoman told AFP, adding that police were called to the scene after reports of a man "apparently having fallen from the cliffs above".

"The incident is not believed to be suspicious," she added.

Heselden led a British team which bought US-based Segway Inc. in December last year and now manufactures and distributes the distinctive self-balancing vehicles.

The Segway was introduced in 2002 amid great fanfare as a means of revolutionising urban transportation. They use gyroscopes, computers and electric motors to cruise to 12 miles per hour.

A former coal miner who left school at 15, Heselden made his fortune with the Hesco Bastion firm, which developed the "Hesco" blast walls that are widely used in Afghanistan and Iraq.

"It is with great sadness that we have to confirm that Jimi Heselden has died in a tragic accident near his home in West Yorkshire," Hesco Bastion said in a statement, without giving further details.

His death came a week after he became one of Britain's top philanthropists, giving 10 million pounds to a charity and taking his lifetime donations to 23 million pounds, it said.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Right in the Kisser - Amazing Race Blooper

Amazing Race 17 premiered tonight. Nothing else matters except watching the scene where Claire, the home shopping host gets a watermelon to the face. Her race partner, Brook, is a total bitch who had no sympathy for the fact that Claire took a giant fruit to the face.

Oh, I also love Team Andy Bernard, the two ivy league a capella singers. Here's a clip of the watermelon disaster:

missed connections featuring scott speedman

CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 22:  Actor Scott Speedman  attends the Adoration Photocall at the Palais des Festivals during the 61st International Cannes Film Festival on May 22, 2008 in Cannes, France.  (Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images)

you: ben from felicity. me: red tights with a where's waldo toque and neon green shorts and rainbow socks and a bright yellow tee shirt (i dressed like a stop light for a charity run). you: headphone-d and on a mission walking through queen's park. me: agog at your (stout) hotness. our eyes locked. then you looked away (quickly). why did you escape so quickly? where were you going? coffee date with felicity? confrontation with fat noel? avoiding the pink power ranger? where did you go my lovely?

Is Danza this hard up for cash?

382187 03: Actor Tony Danza hugs Katherine Helmond as they prepare to help serve free dinners to the homeless at the Los Angeles Mission during 'The Great Thanksgiving Banquet' November 22, 2000 in Los Angeles. (Photo by Newsmakers)

"Teach: Tony Danza" is an A&E show, premiering Friday at 10 pm, where Danza co-instructs a 10th Grade English class at Northeast High School in Philadelphia. For real.

Why in God's name is Danza teaching high school? And why does he look like a shriveled up grape who's about to go on life support?

This is a real far cry from that hunky Tony Micelli we all hold dear to our hearts. Please don't tarnish our sweet memories of you vacuuming window drapes without a shirt on!

I can't want for pronunciation classes: "Angel-er", "Mon-er", "Samant-a", "Jona-tin"

Saturday, September 25, 2010

SNL returns tonight

In celebration - and to counter all the haters - I have posted some of the funniest clips from recent SNL sketches:

Reba - SNL Digital Short from Niela Jay on Vimeo.

Lindsay Lohan Out of Jail, In Fabulous Sunglasses

I LOVE these sunglasses.

45386, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Friday September 24 2010. Lindsay Lohan arrives at court in Los Angeles after failing a previous court-mandated drug test. Last week she publicly acknowledged failing the drug test by posting a Twitter message, and now risks a 30-day jail sentence. The judge said he would sentence her to a month in jail for each drug test she skipped or failed, but he still has discretion on her punishment. Regrettably, I did in fact fail my most recent drug test and if I am asked, I am prepared to appear before Judge Fox... as a result, Lohan tweeted last week. Photograph:  Ringo,

Check out this weirdo:

45400, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Friday September 24, 2010. A Lindsay Lohan fan with a Dont Mess with the Lohan homemade poster outside of the Beverly Hills Courthouse. The 24 year old actress was handcuffed and taken away after failing a mandatory drug test. Lohan previous finished 13 full days of a 30-day sentence in a Lynwood correctional facility on Aug. 2 after she violated probation in her DUI case. . Photograph:  Josephine Santos,

Andre Leon Talley - Big, Bold and Beautiful

I was recently in Japan and I couldn't find a pair of pants over size 27. You know who could have helped me? Andre "mumu" Leon Talley, the large editor-at-large of Vogue. Who knows how big this guy is? Size 57? Anyhoo, he certainly does not let size stop him from looking fabulous. Actually, every time I see him, I think of the episode of The Simpsons where Homer intentionally gains weight to go on worker's comp:

NEW YORK - MAY 03: TV personality Whoopi Goldberg and Editor-at-Large for Vogue Andre Leon Talley attend the Costume Institute Gala Benefit to celebrate the opening of the 'American Woman: Fashioning a National Identity' exhibition at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 3, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

With fellow mumu-lover Whoopi Goldberg.

NEW YORK - FEBRUARY 23: Vogue editor and fashion icon Andre Leon Tally attends The CW: It's A Reality at Simyone Lounge on February 23, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images)

Um, judicial robes? Or maybe garbage bag?

NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 08: Andre Leon Talley and Tyra Banks celebrate the cycle 15 premiere of America's Next Top Model  at Marea on September 8, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images for CW)

About time for afternoon snack. That size XXXXXXXL leather jacket doesn't fill itself.

NEW YORK - FEBRUARY 16: Editor-at-large for Vogue Andre Leon Talley attends the Dennis Basso Fall 2010 Fashion Show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at The Promenade at Bryant Park on February 16, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images for IMG)

Peta's head must be exploding over this gem made of an entire mink colony. Are those velour pants? Hey, go comfortable or go home. (But I imagine it must be very sweaty in there).

NEW YORK - FEBRUARY 14: American editor-at-large for Vogue magazine Andre Leon Talley attends the Thakoon Fall 2010 Fashion Show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at Eyebeam Gallery on February 14, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images)

A more casual look. He really loves those pants.

NEW YORK - MAY 04:  American editor-at-large for Vogue Andre Leon Talley attends 'The Model as Muse: Embodying Fashion' Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 4, 2009 in New York City.  (Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images)

Very regal.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Friday Morning Survival: Boats 'n Hos

Fridays are awesome, but you still have to get through the work day. To make that task a little more pleasurable, please enjoy the vocal harmony of Prestige Worldwide's inaugural video, Boats 'n Hos, as featured in the movie Stepbrothers.

30 Rock Season Premiere

Tina Fey arrives at the 62nd Primetime Emmy Awards at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles on August 29, 2010.  UPI/Lori Shepler Photo via Newscom

Season 5 of 30 Rock premiered tonight. My thoughts? Meh. It was pretty good, but not ha ha funny. I blame Tina Fey's skinniness. Seriously, her waist is the size of her head. Which is fine, whatever, BUT it makes all the Kathy-esque food jokes lame. I eat the food she eats on the show; consequently, I can only wear elasticized pants.

Oh, here's a picture of 30 Rock star Alec Baldwin with a dog riding a miniature horse. No filthy little pigs in this pic.

30 Rock actor and former animal rights activist Alec Baldwin poses next to an Equestrian member of the Big Apple Circus after appearing on the Letterman show in NYC, NY on September 21, 2010. What is troubling about the seemingly charming scene is Baldwin's past advocacy for the mistreatment of horses in NYC in 1992 when Baldwin testified at the City Council against the carriage horse industry in New York which included his staunch stance on the use of animals for entertainment purposes. Did Baldwin given up his animal loving ways when he divorced Kim Basinger? Fame Pictures, Inc

Senor Chang = Best Character on Television

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - SEPTEMBER 10: Actors Joel McHale and Ken Jeong attend The PaleyFest & TV Guide Magazine's NBC FALL TV Preview Party at the Paley Center for Media on September 10, 2009 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty Images)

Thursday night television is back, with the season premieres of Community and 30 Rock airing tonight. (Although NBC better get its act together and start airing Parks & Rec). Community started off pretty strong - with a high quotient of Senor Chang, the (to quote wikipedia) "unbalanced Spanish instructor".

Someone has generously complied the best of "El Tigre" for your viewing pleasure:

As for Jeff Winger (Joel McHale) - why in God's name doesn't the hairdresser of Community cut off his weird mullety back part of his hair?

Stay Away from Lourdes, Momsen!!

Sept. 22, 2010 - New York, New York, U.S. - MADONNA, LOURDES LEON and actress TAYLOR MOMSEN attend the launch of her new fashion collection 'Material Girl' held at Macy's Herald Square. © Red Carpet Pictures

Taylor Momsen scares me! She looks like children of the corn + Marilyn Manson. Why would Madonna allow Lourdes to hang out with her? I feel very protective over Lourdes - I have been waiting years to find out if she becomes a Britney/Mischa/Lindsay-style teen fuck up or not. Where the hell is Rufus in all of this? I want him to bring his 100% wool cottage country sweater and wrap Little J. up and send her to reform school.

Madonna arrives at the launch of her new Macy's line Material Girl in NYC, NY on September 22, 2010 where the far from girl, original Material Girl opted for a conservative, even muted attire letting daughter Lourdes Leon shine in the spotlight along with model and inspiration Gossip Girl actress Taylor Momsen. Fame Pictures, Inc


Joaquin Phoenix - Where's My Apology?

NEW YORK - FEBRUARY 11:  Actor Joaquin Phoenix attends the Cinema Society and Salvatore Ferragamo screening of 'Two Lovers' at the Landmark Sunshine Cinema on February 11, 2009 in New York City.  (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

So, Joaquin says his crazy antics were all a hoax. I don't buy it. I just think he's an asshole and he was going crazy after being totally in love with Reese. Even if it was a ruse, he's still an asshole. It's like when I find out that reality TV is fake all the time. It makes me angry that I watched sub-par television. Which I suppose, is PARTIALLY my fault for watching reality TV.

If you care, here's the latest clip of Joaquin blabbing bullshit on Letterman:

Monday, September 20, 2010

no one likes you, little j.

'Gossip Girl' Taylor Momsen helps launch British designer John Galliano's new eau de toilette 'Parlez-moi d'Amour' at restaurant Laperouse in Paris, France on September 13, 2010. Momsen is the face of Galliano's perfumes. Photo by Frederic Nebinger/ABACAPRESS.COM Photo via Newscom

"live" blogging gossip girl episode deux

WARNING: i like to freeball blog. you've been warned.

oh lils! b pushing s in the fountain warms the cockles of everyone's heart.

worst quote of the night (so far): "the life of serena van der woodsen is like the most complicated jane austen novel ever." don't besmirch jane austen, slut.

thumbs up - nate archibald is looking good with less bieber-bangs.

"life coach?" more like sex coach.

mother of the year: lily bass, obvs. don't bother flying to identify the body of your step-son, send your trampy harlot daughter in elton john's blazer.

chuck bass looking sexy in vest and cane - hot buster keaton alert!

chuck bass parles francais et assiste un vieux homme - je t'aime!

dan v. nate: duel of the pastel plaid shirts - who wins?

best exit line ever: "if you'll excuse me, i have a ball to attend".

dan v. nate duel ends in a draw - bros before hos (ie. serena).

rufus the geneticist!

muscle woman

I just read about this woman today. She's a muscle builder from Jordan who, despite all the death threats and ridiculing from her family and others in Jordan, decided to quite her UN job and become a body-builder.

For one, I think that's commendable and all that stuff about women doing what they want, but I don't equate body-building with woman's liberation. But maybe I'm missing the point.

Secondly, the body builder, Farah, said she wanted to pursue her sport to show arab girls that they can do whatever they want. While yes, that is true, I have a few issues with that. One: Farah comes from a privileged Jordanian family, meaning, she was given the luxury many other arab girls don't have to try whatever she wanted, thinking in a 'western' way. Two: Body-building is a sport that supports horrible eating habits and OCD training habits all for the sake of looking a certain way.

But, deep down inside, I still think it's pretty cool that an arab lady has shed her clothes to show curves and muscles.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Mr. Darcy to Ease You into the New Week

Monday mornings stink. Mr. Darcy, on the other hand, is charming, sophisticated and one fine piece of man meat. Two of the finest clips from the BBC mini-series Pride and Prejudice.

1. Mr. Darcy diving into the lake at Pemberly Estate. Why aren't his white underclothes see-through after he gets them wet?

2. The heart melting moment when you can TELL Mr. Darcy is completely in love with Elizabeth (somewhere around the 4.5-7 minute mark, but all 9 minutes are gems):

Friday, September 17, 2010

Hamm-er Time

Here's a mini gallery of the many (beautiful) faces of Jon Hamm:

Sept. 14, 2010 - New York, New York, U.S. - JON HAMM arriving at the premiere of Warner Bros. Pictures' ''The Town'' at Fenway Park in Boston, MA on 09-14-2010.  2010..K65772HMc. © Red Carpet Pictures

In a hat!

VENICE, ITALY - SEPTEMBER 08: Actor Jon Hamm attends the 'The Town' Premiere during the 67th Venice Film Festival at the Sala Grande Palazzo Del Cinema on September 8, 2010 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)

Concerned! Maybe there's a baby that needs to be saved!

44150, WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - Sunday August 29 2010. Mad Men star Jon Hamm and wife Jennifer Westfeldt make their way along to the Trousdale lounge for Jimmy Fallon's post-Emmys party. Photograph:  Hellmuth Dominguez, *FEE MUST BE AGREED PRIOR TO USAGE E-TABLET/IPAD & MOBILE PHONE APP PUBLISHING REQUIRES ADDITIONAL FEES**

Yikes! Pobody's Nerfect.

21 August 2010 - Los Angeles, California - Jon Hamm. 62nd Annual Primetime Creative Arts Emmy Awards - Arrivals held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live. Photo Credit: Byron Purvis/AdMedia

Although, he's pretty damn close.

Jon Hamm sweats to the max in his FBI gear while director and costar Ben Affleck chills out by playing on the clock with some baseball memorabilia he purchased while on set in Boston, Massachusetts September 23, 2009 Fame Pictures, Inc

Fighting crime!

LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 28:  Actor Jon Hamm attends the Seventh Annual World Poker Tour Invitational at the Commerce Casino on February 28, 2009 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images)

Sad and gambling!

LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 28:  Actor Jon Hamm attends the Seventh Annual World Poker Tour Invitational at the Commerce Casino on February 28, 2009 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images)

Hmm...looking a little too David Schwimmer-y...

Actor Jon Hamm attends a press conference to promote the film The Town during the 35th Toronto International Film Festival September 10, 2010. REUTERS/Fred Thornhill (CANADA - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT PROFILE HEADSHOT)


Coronation Street Hotties: Week 1

Meet Eddie Windass. Hot factors: balding, red curls, semi-employed, thief, faking disability

Bosscocked Just Because

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Gossip Girl Premiere

GOSSIP GIRL, originally uploaded by netman..

Check out this awesome recap:

Bachelor Pad Finale - Tidal River of Barf

Ugh, I cannot believe how many precious hours of my life were wasted watching this garbage. Actually, I can. I watch terrible TV, including my new find, Obese & Pregnant.

Here is a list of why this finale was the worst:

- Dave, who was a 'no means yes' type of guy on Gillian's season of the Bachelorette, won! And he was somewhat popular! He has total crazy eyes.

-Dumb-dumb Natalie also won!

-Wes (who was pure evil in Gillian's season) has turned into a likable guy. How did everyone forget his scheming ways so soon? AND - what was probably the worst thing all evening - they let him sing again. ANNNND the cast knew the words to his songs!!!

-Gia, who I used to like, turned out to be a Wes-loving moron

-Deep-V spandex onesies on Dave and Kovacs. Kiptyn kept it classy in a tux.

-Did you see the disconnect in colour between Krisily's orange face and her neck?

BUT, there were also some highlights:

-Dave planting a wet kiss on host Chris Harrison

-Not hearing Tenley squeal of happiness

-Crazy Michelle. Speaking of whom, here is a video in which Michelle made Tenley cry:

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Chuck Bass' Furry Deep-V Returns to Your TV Monday

In honour of the return of everyone's favourite attempted-child-rapist-turned-sweetheart, we have compiled some of the greatest Chuck Bass-isms:

"What we're entitled to is a house in the Hamptons. Maybe a prescription drug problem. But happiness does not seem to be on the menu so smoke up and seal the deal with Blair because you're also entitled to tap that ass."

"If you're referring to the fact I'm not in Thailand smoking hash with prostitutes, change is good."

"A little Thanksgiving proclamation. You two ever play grab-ass in my elevator again, and Serena will be staying at an airport Marriott. Happy holidays."

"Dude. I'm Chuck Bass. Even Europeans must know what that means."

"Poor little time, so many sluts to defend..."

"Do you really think I want to spend my weekend watching women with tramp stamps work out their daddy issues? It's for Nate."

"I'm Chuck Bass. And I told you I love you. You're saying I'm easier to win over than a bunch of pseudo-intellectual homesick malcontents. You really insult me like that? ... The next time you forget you're Blair Waldorf, remember I'm Chuck Bass. And I love you."

"Let me be more succinct. You held a certain fascination...when you were beautiful, delicate, and untouched. you're like the Arabian my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore, and I can't see why anyone else would."

"[In reply to Blair's comment that NYU is hell] What do you expect from a place where men wear sandals?"

"I had to create a monster if I was going to dethrone a queen."

"I'm bored. And you've ruined my pants."

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Nadal advances to final, Federer Out. Who Would You Rather?

Nadal is all guns. He says nuts to tradition by forgoing sleeves. But the wedgie-picking OCD thing is a bit of a turn off.

Federer, on the other hand, is pure class. He's been through the long hair faze of his life and grown into his current sexy 'do.

Roger Federer, originally uploaded by Ashraf Khunduqji.

However, there is photographic evidence of his bad hair past:

Fake Celebrities

Did some film festival stalking yesterday in Toronto. I *think* I saw Jon Hamm. That said, I also thought I saw Sarah Jessica Parker. After stalking SJP for the better part of an hour, she turned out to be a celebrity imposter. There are TONS of these weirdo attention-seekers flaunting their non-celebrity selves all over the city. The get totally dolled up with salon hair/fancy wigs, and wear crazy clothes to draw the eye's attention.

P.S. This photo is of a Meatloaf impersonator.

Thursday, September 9, 2010


I heard a rumour that James Franco was spotted near the Drake Hotel last night. I hope he was dressed in this dazzling number.

In other James Franco news, the actor reveals to The Advocate that he's not gay and that he's not a stoner.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Hamm Sandwich

Jon Hamm is such a multi-talent, he can act, sing, dance and look beautiful. Here is one of my favourite Hamm-on-SNL clips.

Sergio from Mathieu Carratier on Vimeo.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Open Letter to Fedoras

Fedoras are the not-so-new but lingering head wear of choice for hipster douchebags worldwide. In the same vein as trucker hats, a-holes don fedoras in order to look cool. See also plaid shirts, Ray Bans, skinny jeans and scarves. The thing is, fedoras do often make people look hotter. Balding men often successfully wear fedoras as hair masks.

Urban Dictionary describes the "fedora douchebag threshold theorem" as follows:

"The sociological rule that one person wearing a fedora in a larger group may be stylistically unique, but two or more people wearing a fedora in a larger group renders every person in that group a douchebag.

Check it out - another fedora. What a douchebag.

No, wait - if it was just that one dude it might be cool, but two of his bros are wearing them too. According to the Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem, all five of them are douchebags."

I don't know about that theorem. Check out this pic of Jason Mraz and decide for yourself.

Jason Mraz Backstage Candid Photos

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Open Letter to My Pants

Obese-Man-03, originally uploaded by SuperJosh.

WTF? Why are you so tight? After three weeks of chronic diarrhea in South East Asia you were supposed to be loose and billowy. I think I need to trade you in for a pair of jeggings, despite my disgust for the word jeggings. You brought this on yourself, pants.

Saturday Morning Pick Me Up

This is a clip from the 1988 classic film, Mac and Me, a story about the friendship that blossomed between a young boy and an alien. The clip is actually not worth watching past the 30 second mark.

Vintage Rudd

Unlike Super Nintendo, Paul Rudd has withstood the test of time.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Kelsey Takes a Tumble

This is an oldy but a goody. It's no grape lady, but it ranks pretty damn high.

A Terrible Idea - Fake Car Bomb Prank on Iraq Reality TV

According to an article on Gawker, "In Iraq, a reality show puts fake bombs in celebrities' cars, then tricks them into believing they're going to prison for terrorism once they're "discovered" at security checkpoints."

Yikes. And I thought this was mean:

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Just Because

Who Said Tennis Was Boring?

The only other reason to watch tennis is to play a drinking game where you take a sip every time Nadal picks his butt.

Bachelor Pad or Maxi Pad: Which is Grosser to Watch?

Sorry, that's gross. I don't know why anyone would watch a maxi pad. I was trying to go for a gross pun about douches, but I couldn't make it work.

Anyhoo, Chris Harrison has waved his magic wand and brought together an ensemble of cast-offs from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette who are vying for a prize of $250,000. The only reason to watch this show is to watch horrible people humiliate themselves (see ep. 2 pie eating competition. "I'm pretty sure Tenley vomited into the pie and continued to eat"). This past episode the contestants had to reveal in front of everyone who they thought had the worst boob job. Also, seeing Chris Harrison play it low-key in casual wear is a bonus.

PS I love Joel McHale and why the F isn't The Soup on in Canada anymore?

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Hollywood Cruelty

Since its inception, Hollywood has been pairing relatively unattractive leading men with gorgeous women. A recent example occurred in Cyrus, which matched the hilarious, but facially-challenged John C. Reilly with Marissa Tomei. Normally this would irk me, but I'd get over it and suspend my disbelief. That is, until I saw the ad for Jack Goes Boating. First, Philip Seymour Hoffman. Second, Philip Seymour Hoffman with blonde dreads. Third, is it wrong of me to infer that he is mildly "special" in this film? Are viewers really supposed to believe that Jack could really land a date with Holly from The Office? I think we need to even things out with a rom-com starring Rachel Dratch as a down-on-her-luck janitor in a full body cast landing Javier Bardem, a sensitive, smart, and funny pediatrician.

See preview here:

Toronto Tweens' Heads Explode

The Jonas Brothers are in Toronto, staying at the Park Hyatt. I think they are ugly. Also, I don't know any of their songs (I wish the same were true about the Bieb).

David Rocco May Be Changing Phone Plan

Hot News Alert! David Rocco was spotted this afternoon (by me) in the Rogers boutique in Hazelton Lanes. The sexy Food Network host was potentially changing phone plans or perhaps upgrading to a new phone. I really couldn't tell. What he should change is his marital status to single, so we can go on a date.