Toronto to Brazil, let's talk about my stories

New feature: Brazilian telenovela recap. Fun for the whole family.

*catfight begins around 4:46. Look out for the cake!


Originally, I started watching the channel 4, 4pm Brazilian telenovela for Portuguese practice. But I kept watching for the drama (and Portuguese practice). O Chocolate com Pimienta! My first introduction to the Brazilian version of the soap opera genre, I started watching four years ago at some point in the middle. I couldn't understand anything they were emoting about (except the chocolate), but I could understand the repeated refrain of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Actually, I had no idea why they kept playing that over and over, in every episode, multiple times, but I loved that the show ended with the main character (a once poor, beautiful and saintly former farm girl --the widow of one of the wealthiest man in the town, and maligned by the other jealous rich people), her son (not her husband's child, the son of her true love, a man who kept abandoning her for mysterious reasons, probably because she was poor; during one of these continual break ups, the kindly wealthy man marries her so her child won't be illegitimate) and her closest friend (poor, who was also maybe in love with her but knew she couldn't return his feelings in the way he wanted, and so exorcised his feelings by painting a portrait of her) flying away in an air balloon. Yes, the three of them flew off to unknown parts just like the Wizard in The Wizard of Oz-- but not at all like Dorothy, her dog, and her companions. Also, amazing: one character whose evil mother (she kept trying to steal the chocolate factory from main character) made him dress up like a girl for unknown reasons. And then he fell in love. But she thought he was a girl. And they go swimming. In their clothes. For a few weeks, I wasn't even sure if he knew he was actually a boy.

Next time. The amazing Da Cor do Pecado.
A sneak peek:

Live Blogging Gossip Girl

Okay - when did Chuck lose the limp and cane?

Really Dan? Really, you can't believe the baby's not yours? You are stupider than...someone who is REALLY stupid. God.

And Rufus, you just told your son that his baby's not his - and you ditch him for Chuck Bass? Wait, that's a good call Ruf. Dan's a fucking moron.

What's with Chuck's gf? She's not a great actress and she's not stereotypically pretty? Is she an international celebrity in real life?

Eva to Chuck: "You're used to all these things, the cars and clothes and spa...and roof?" Was Eva homeless?

Oh snap! Eric's dropping the date rape bomb!!! And calling Rufus "Rufus", not "dad"

3 Men and a Baby was a FICTIONAL movie Vanessa.

Man, Serena really can't stand not to be in the spotlight for one minute.

"I'm truly sorry" - that doesn't erase near statutory rape.

Ha! Double snap on Juliette - who do you think you're messing with? Dorota's in the house. I like how Lily siddled in on this shit.

Bye Baby Milo - you were the worst plot idea ever.

For a dirty hippie, Vanessa sure has a ton of clothes.

"It's a prayer rug"??? - as if Vanessa's mom would subscribe to any religion

Best ending line ever: "Trouble's moving in, and it's looking to make the Upper East Side its bitch. xoxo Gossip Girl."

Chuck Bass' Furry Deep-V Returns to Your TV Monday

Chuck Bass en 'Gossip Girl' visita Sidney, originally uploaded by El Comercio Digital.

In honour of the return of everyone's favourite attempted-child-rapist-turned-sweetheart, we have compiled some of the greatest Chuck Bass-isms:

"What we're entitled to is a house in the Hamptons. Maybe a prescription drug problem. But happiness does not seem to be on the menu so smoke up and seal the deal with Blair because you're also entitled to tap that ass."

"If you're referring to the fact I'm not in Thailand smoking hash with prostitutes, change is good."

"A little Thanksgiving proclamation. You two ever play grab-ass in my elevator again, and Serena will be staying at an airport Marriott. Happy holidays."

"Dude. I'm Chuck Bass. Even Europeans must know what that means."

"Poor Daniel...so little time, so many sluts to defend..."

"Do you really think I want to spend my weekend watching women with tramp stamps work out their daddy issues? It's for Nate."

"I'm Chuck Bass. And I told you I love you. You're saying I'm easier to win over than a bunch of pseudo-intellectual homesick malcontents. You really insult me like that? ... The next time you forget you're Blair Waldorf, remember I'm Chuck Bass. And I love you."

"Let me be more succinct. You held a certain fascination...when you were beautiful, delicate, and untouched. Now...now you're like the Arabian my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore, and I can't see why anyone else would."

"[In reply to Blair's comment that NYU is hell] What do you expect from a place where men wear sandals?"

"I had to create a monster if I was going to dethrone a queen."

"I'm bored. And you've ruined my pants."