Thursday, December 23, 2010

Best Christmas Movies!

1. Home Alone

I wonder how many kids in the 90s caused real physical harm to their parents after this film?

However, Home Alone was not all gags and laughter as this weirdo proves - someone videotaped their TV so they could post "the sad part of Home Alone" on YouTube.

(2) A Christmas Story

Oh Ralphie! (This may have been #1 but for weird racist scenes at the Chinese restaurant)

(3) It's a Wonderful Life

Uploaded by y10566. - Full seasons and entire episodes online.

Stupid Uncle Billy almost ruined everything!!! Here's SNL's lost ending.

(4) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Randy Quaid's finest hour.

(5) Love Actually

All I want for Christmas is Rodrigo Santoro!

Best UK Headlines of the Day

MUSCAT, OMAN - NOVEMBER 27: Queen Elizabeth II attends a reception at the Ambassador's residence on November 27, 2010 in Muscat, Oman. Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh are on a State Visit to the Middle East. The Royal couple have spent two days in Abu Dhabi and are are currently spending three days in Oman. (Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

No one can write a news headline like the British (honourable mention to the New York Post and the Toronto Sun):

"'Satanic Slut' is Dating Oldie Adam Ant"

Pushers: Ding Dong You're Legally High

The Most Disgusting News Story Ever

So today, I decided to see what was new in the world and went to the Toronto Star's website. One of the top stories on their main webpage was not about tensions in Korea or massacres in the Ivory Coast, but rather about pigeons "under attack" in a downtown park. I happen to work right beside the park, so I clicked on the page - and I saw the most fucking disgusting photo. Check it out here:

TheStar Pigeons under attack in Moss Park

Saturday, December 18, 2010

No One Wears Jeans Like Bruce Springsteen

Okay, this is not news. A couple of nights ago I had a dream that I was married to Bruce Springsteen and ever since I have been obsessed with him! Enjoy this Born to Run compilation clip.

Friday, December 17, 2010

The real eternal question: How'd it get burned?

full disclosure: i never really get New Yorker cartoons. a play on words, you say? meh. Maybe it's too high brow for the likes of someone who faithfully "reads" Sherman's Lagoon and consistently guffaws at his (and his lagoon mates) high jinks (it's also his endearing lil'fins). anyhoooodle. here is a new yorker cartoon that encapsulates the acting prowess of one Nicolas Kim Coppola in a movie i will never see (because i am a fucking wuss, see: affinity for Sherman's Lagoon) - Wicker Man.

and the real thing:

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Because love isn't just for the young folk

Happy tears alert!! So here's the story. A flight attendant chats up an old man and finds out that he's on his way to meet his high-school sweetheart, whom he hasn't seen in 62 years. The rest is just adorable!

Double Dream Hands!!

There's a lot going on here. A grown man, who looks like he just stepped off a shift at an electronic store, walks through the kind of choreography my friends and I use to come up with in grade 4. Come to think of it, "Just Like a Prayer" could have really used some double dream hand action. This man gets an A+ for enthusiasm alone. Love the freestyle at the 2:38 mark!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Ladies Rejoice - Ryan Reynolds is Back on the Market!

Mr. Six Pack and Scar-Jo have called it quits, so we all have a shot!

TORONTO, ON - SEPTEMBER 13: Actor Ryan Reynolds speaks at 'Buried' press conference during the 2010 Toronto International Film Festival at the Hyatt Regency on September 13, 2010 in Toronto, Canada. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

Ryan in happier times.

June 13, 2010 - New York, New York, U.S. - Actor RYAN REYNOLDS attends the 64th Annual Tony Awards held at Radio City Music Hall. © Red Carpet Pictures

Even buff people have double chins.

Photo by: RE/Westcom/ 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 3/7/10 Ryan Reynolds at the 82nd Academy Awards (Oscars). (Los Angeles, CA)

Cleans up real nice.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 06: Actors Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds pose for a portrait for Favorite Comedy Movie during the People's Choice Awards 2010 held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on January 6, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Michael Caulfield/Getty Images for PCA)

Good chemistry in The Proposal - perhaps these two newly single stars will unite.

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 17:  (U.S. TABS OUT)  Actor Ryan Reynolds appears in a sumo wrestling suit onstage during MTV's Total Request Live at the MTV Times Square Studios on November 17, 2005 in New York City.  (Photo by Scott Gries/Getty Images)

Maybe he'll be hitting the cookies post-breakup

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Another Reason to Love Jon Hamm: He Hates Pants!

Although Jonathan Daniel "Jon" Hamm looks stunning in everything, we would all like to catch a glimpse of him in nothing. While lending his voice to The Simpsons, ETonline reported that Hamm stated, "You don't have to shave. I was considering not wearing pants...this is fantastic. I could do this again."

A while ago, it was reported that Jon Hamm also does not care for underwear (see October 24 post below). So, if I do the math properly, no pants + no underwear = mindblowing hotness.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Monday, December 6, 2010

Live Blogging Gossip Girl

Gossip girl - Chuck

-Has Serena gotten skinnier?

-Cleavage shots on this show have shifted from Serena's cans to Dan's furry moobs.

-Poor Rufus, just sitting home all day, changing sweaters and worrying about everyone.

-Question: does anyone in the US lock their doors?

-I love how the producers used every stereotype in order to create a wild party - beer pong! body shots! drugs!

-The absinthe flashback was weeeeeeird. Damien was a nerd doing Serena's homework? Alcohol affects you instantaneously?

-"He was, like, the only guy to ever say no to me" - Serena. Same as my life. Except replace "guy" with "Starbucks employee" and replace "no" with "yes" and replace "me" with "my request for a free breakfast sandwich" (that's actually a lie, he said no too).

-Wait? How did Ben know Nate? And how did Juliet get past the strict Ostroff security team?

-Townies are, like, so gross. Ew, it's like, get out of your town, and go to some other town.

-Wow, Lily is like f-ing Godzilla in this episode, destroying everything in her path

-I do enjoy a good Blair and Dan banter

-Um, so what was Ben's original evil plan? To destroy Serena, but without hurting her? And how did Serena just waltz into a secure facility? And why is she dressed like a hoochie in prison? And why do I bother asking logical questions about this show? And why do I even watch this show, given that I am 30 years old? Oh wait. The answer to that last question is Rufus. Straight up.

Holiday Gift Guide! Mr. Darcy gifts for the Ladies

Mr. Darcy

Mr. Darcy mugs! Keyrings! Wrapping paper! Shopping pads! Fridge magnets! Coasters! Thongs!

Check out these sites for all your Mr. Darcy needs:

You know the chick who compiled this Darcy tribute is totally head-to-toe in Darcy clothes:

Sure is crawling with celebrities

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Conan in Jeggings

Normally, I hate jeggings. Mostly because of the word jeggings. But also because I've seen a lot of people's butt cracks in see-through jeggings.

How skinny are Conan's legs?!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Monday, November 29, 2010

Nicolas Cage's Acting will Blow Your Mind

Why does it burn!!!!?

Live Blogging Gossip Girl

NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 10: Actor Ed Westwick attends the Saks Fifth Avenue celebration of Fashion's Night Out at Saks Fifth Avenue on September 10, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images for Saks Fifth Avenue)

- dorota - saucy talk back! blair cannot attack you with a baby strapped to your chest.

- snap to it rufus, those flowers aren't going to move themselves.

- directed by tate donovan...first andrew mccarthy, now tate donovan - why are mediocre 80s suddenly the go-to directors?

- sad manbangs on a stoop ... quack quack to the rescue! nice leather hoodie, quaackers.

- rufus is looking younger by the minute...being a kept man works for you, roof. however, time to get an iphone.

- Like Juliet, I also lounge around the privacy of my home in backless, skin-tight dresses

- "coveat"?

- Note to self: buy a front wrap camel coat

- Nate's mom = emaciated horse.

- Where's Grandfather in all this mess?

- "Vanessa" "bodega" - did Dan just make a racist comment? (Or am I are racist for thinking that's racist?)

- Jenny looks like Skinny Marie (if you don't know, it's a Pretty Woman reference)

- Detective Dan is turning into Psychiatrist Dan. With moobs.

- Rufus get on your goddamned 1993 cellphone and call Lily to let her know the truth about Serena!

- Smart idea Juliet - dress like a skank in a male prison.

- Rufus outdid himself for that feast! I need a kept man, but I don't think I have enough wool sweaters to tempt Ruf

- Best episode ever - getting rid of Jenny AND Vanessa? This IS Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Prince William Proposes Before Going Totally Bald

Britain's Prince William and his fiancee Kate Middleton (L) pose for a photograph in St. James's Palace, central London in a November 16, 2010 file photo. Britain's Prince William is to marry his fiancee Kate Middleton on Friday, April 29 next year at London's Westminster Abbey, his office said on November 23, 2010. REUTERS/Suzanne Plunkett/files  (BRITAIN - Tags: SOCIETY ROYALS ENTERTAINMENT PROFILE)

I remember when I was 14 being in love with Prince William. Then he started looking a little too Charles-y. I know everyone thinks Harry's the hot one, but I just can't get over the racist mishaps.

So, speaking of proposals, we have put together the all time best movie proposals (that we could find clips of):

(1) Sweet November

Finally, a happy Keanu. This was definitely Oscar worthy.

(2) Pride & Prejudice - BBC Version!

My affections for Mr. Darcy's hat are unchanged. Okay, there is no official proposal on screen, but I imagine him going down on one knee in a wet white shirt declaring her eyes to be "fine" and that she is the handsomest woman of his acquaintance and asking her to marry him.

(3) When Harry Met Sally

Sniff, sniff. I love you too Harry!

(4) Love Actually

Love Actually - Finding Aurelia from Zach Johnson on Vimeo.

Colin Firth wins again. (Sorry for poo poo quality of clip. It's also overdubbed in Spanish)

(5) Sense and Sensibility

Jane Austen you've done it again! Edward, you needed to grow some cohones a long time ago, but I forgive you because you are so adorable. Damn you Willoughby! Damn you!

Killing Hipsters

Personal Ninjas

I'm with Kanye on this one... ninjas are rad, but how do ya go about meeting one?

Monday, November 22, 2010

i love watching people fall

grape lady will always have a special place in my heart but this newbie could take the cake: multiple people falling and face-plants galore! props to gawky teenager number 1 for finishing the race but red sweatshirt number 1 deserves bonus points for best skids forward and running a race in a hoodie...well done.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Best. Video. Ever.

I know that in the 1980s we all weren't as technologically savvy as we are now. But there is no excuse for how terrible this Journey video is. However, terrible translates into awesomeness in this video with air instruments, mullets, keyboards attached to walls, mouth shots, mom jeans, etc.

Journey - Separate Ways
Uploaded by jpdc11. - Explore more music videos.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Jimmy Fallon's Got Talent

Worst Song Ever?

Sorry for possibly ruining your Friday by posting this song. Is that an auto-tuned "Weird" Al Yankovic singing in there?

At least that Heidi Montag garbage came with a video of her nearly naked... ugh, that's still no consolation, ever.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Old Guys Being Gross

Serge Gainsbourg vs. Whitney Houston:

Serge Gainsbourg vs. Whitney Houston
Uploaded by glst81. - Up-to-the minute news videos.

The best part of this video is how the host translates Gainsbourg's English into English.

Joe Namath vs. Suzy Kolber

What a catch!

Lassie's Going to Tear Someone a New Asshole

This is such a tragic story!

Eerste Wereldoorlog, legerhond sergeant Stubby

According to the New York Times, Target, an Afghanistan hero dog was euthanized by mistake at an American shelter. Check out the full story here: (P.S. this photo is not Target, but a dog called Sergeant Stubby).

You know who would never let that happen? Vladimir Putin.

Russia's Prime Minister Vladimir Putin hugs a Bulgarian shepherd dog, after receiving it as a present from Bulgaria's Prime Minister Boiko Borisov (not seen) in Sofia, November 13, 2010. Putin is in Bulgaria on a one day working visit. REUTERS/Oleg Popov (BULGARIA - Tags: POLITICS ANIMALS IMAGES OF THE DAY)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Worst Prank EVER

Holy crap, this is terrible. But the people involved seem like they have a positive attitude.

According to Gawker, "Rachelle Friedman's bridesmaids pushed her into a pool's shallow end, breaking her neck and leaving her paralyzed from the chest down. Now she can't marry her fiance because their combined income would cause her to lose her Medicaid benefits."

Check out the clip here:

Yipes. Here's a funnier wedding mishap:

Check Me Out

Sometimes I feel Saved by the Bell should have been more A.C.-centric... seriously.

Hump Day

A little acoustic Digital Underground action to get you to the end of the week:

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


So, I'm colourblind. Not full on see the world like an old-timey movie, but certain ranges of blues and greens I can't distinguish. And, when I tell people this, well, this is how it goes down:

Monday, November 15, 2010

Live Blogging Gossip Girl

44395, NEW YORK, NEW YORK - Friday September 3, 2010. Chace Crawford readjusts his shirt as he prepares to shoot a scene for Gossip Girl, with his script in his hand. Photograph:

- Who is making concentric circles with coloured pencils about Serena, Dan and Nate? It's definitely a man's hands...but why who would consider them all "cute"? Ah. The gay boys. But, "sincere poetry" is used to describe Dan and Serena?? And "athletic lacrosse" is used to describe Nate and Serena??! Someone didn't pay attention in grade four.

-Retraction and apology Serena? Looks like you will have to recall every tabloid ever made (get it? because she's a floozy! ha ha!)

-Do you think Dorota hides behind the door every time Blair is in a room on the off chance she will yell for her?

-Checkmate Lily, finally steppin' up her game.

-Ew, Jenny is the "kind of surprise" I receive when diarrhea accidentally squeezes from my butt. Sorry.

-Has Chuck gotten more breathy than usual?

-Did I direct this episode with my video editing kit I got in 1992? Too many wipe shots (with sounds effects!)

-I really doubt Nate would have enough smarts to want to meet at the Frick

-Serena, you had sex with every man in France, and nearly every man on the show - is it really far-fetched for Lily to think there's another dirty secret?

-As if no one can tell Jenny and Juliette's nasty hair from Serena's.

-Poor cherub Eric.

-Wait, Serena has the dean on text message? Isn't there a registration/admin department at Columbia? Oh right. There is no logic and reason to Gossip Girl.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Theme Song Metal Mayhem!

Who you gonna call?

And where is... the Batman?

Why does it always have to be snakes?

When the evil Shredder attacks, those turtle boys won't cut him no slack:

C'est le dernier dinosaure:

Go Go Gadget:

And finally, YES! \m/(^_^)\m/ YES! \m/(^_^)\m/ YES! \m/(^_^)\m/:

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Family Feud Hilarity!

I feel like someone had naked grandmas on the brain to begin with - he was so quick to answer!

It's the weekend - time to celebrate!

Guess the directors of The Cove didn't see this awesome clip, otherwise they might have rethought the whole 'captivity is bad' thesis.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Conan's BACK!

Last night Conan O'Brian made his triumphant return to television. Despite an awkward bitter part during the monologue and having a non-funny manorexic Seth Rogan as a first host, it was a great show. And here's my favourite Triumph the insult comic dog sketch:

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog - Star Wars
Uploaded by ZaraV. - Watch more comedy videos and sitcoms.

Canada's Jersey Shore

Is "cesspool of humanity" too harsh a term?

Yikes, I don't remember Jersey Shore being this racist. Way to go Toronto, nice advertisement for multiculturalism: the Pole, the Jew, the Albanian...yipes. I'm sure Rob Ford will be watching.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Live Blogging Gossip Girl

Twilight/ gossip girl

-Ladies knock; ergo, Serena is NOT a lady.

-Life is tough; get a helmet. Thanks for the great advice B. But there is no way that GG can make helmets skanky enough for S.

-Ew. What is Juliette wearing? I didn't think they had Limite in the US. She's trying to be Amanda Woodward circa 1993.

-is that a silk shirt, ruf? the ruf, the ruf, the ruf is on fire!

-"go for broke" - that plan never fails.

-let me guess what serena's packing: an assortment of dresses with holes cut out.

-QUACK! QUACK! dan (the duck) the p.i. is on the case

-hmmm, looks like nate might need to enlist the services of dan the p.i.

-passport stamped - new euphemism!

-question: did nate get a perm? or is his hair his way of emoting his sad self?

-QUACK! good and QUACK! salient points, daniel the duck. QUACK!

-eeew. why is arthur a total perv? what kind of creepy eye smirk, was that?

-buffet? buffin?

-does no one go to columbia? how can buffin/buffet and S. have a full-on convo in the halls?

-you are not molly ringwald, juliette do not pull the wrong side of the tracks bullshit. would nate archibald want to date me if he knew i did my own hair? someone thinks she's (all the way) with stephanie kaye (i'm dating myself with degrassi: the old generation references).

-blair is living The Life: macarons, bubble bath...pistachio macacrons!

-ben was a teacher. another piece of side-plot No One Cares About

-it's a dream: head to toe purple velour holding a pistachio macaron. chuck bass i love you.

-sidebar: colin is actually a boy genius...or rather a 34 year old princeton hottie with a major in evolutionary biology and ecology. hot science nerd!

-constantine maroulis! (in the background)

-he resigned? after knowing Serena for a few weeks? what chapter of the book deals with how to be an idiot?

-sad quack. dan's staring for a littttttle too long.

-black collar for realsies, chuck?

-how did vanessa get into the ballet? and when did she turn totally evil? the extensions must be emitting bad thoughts into her brain

-I love how the Dean of Columbia is sorting out GG drama

-SWTF! Wow the gang's pretty harsh on Juliet. Although the crack about her hair was pretty funny.

-Wait? Why are they breaking up? (my guess, her dress). Serena is suchhhhhh a ho. Calling Dan right away?

-Poor Duck! Always lurking in the background!

The Perfect Bid

Wow! A perfect double showcase winning bid on The Price is Right... but wait, why is Drew so blasé about this momentous bid?

Turns out there's much more to this story. Was it cheating or just an amazing chance? Esquire has the story for you here: TV's Crowning Moment of Awesome

And because everyone loves game shows... here's a lady solving a long phrase on Wheel of Fortune, with just one letter (and punctuation):

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Deal of the Day

ITAR-TASS: MOSCOW, RUSSIA. JUNE 6, 2010. At the Melochevka Le Picnic flea market at the Flakon design-factory s grounds. (Photo ITAR-TASS/ Stanislav Krasilnikov) Photo via Newscom

Some crazy grandmother in Florida tried to sell her grandson for $30,000. What's even more shocking is that the purchaser bargained her down from $75,000! That's quite the bargain! I would love to take that person with me to the flea market.

Here's the story from the Toronto Star:

DAYTONA BEACH, FLA.—A Florida woman and her boyfriend have been charged with trying to sell her infant grandson for $30,000.

Florida Department of Law Enforcement agents arrested 45-year-old Patty Bigbee and 42-year-old Lawrence Works on Friday in Daytona Beach after they met with an agent posing as a buyer. Both were charged with illegal sale or surrender of a child, and Bigbee was also charged with communication fraud.

FDLE agent Wayne Ivey said an investigation began last month after an informant told authorities the woman was trying to sell the baby. Authorities say the woman originally wanted $75,000 but was talked down to $30,000.

The child’s mother is currently incarcerated on unrelated charges.

The infant has been turned over to child welfare officials.

Friday, November 5, 2010

My Jams

It's Friday, someone's been dancing already... these are the jams!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Live Blogging Gossip Girl

46902, NEW YORK, NEW YORK - Monday November 1, 2010. Blake Lively and Penn Badgley rehearse their lines for a scene on the set of Gossip Girl amidst rumors of the two ending their relationship. Lively was rumored to be seen spending time with actor Ryan Gosling prior to her breakup with Badgley. Photograph:

-why is B licking her own envelopes? Where the eff is dorota for these menial, potentially fatal (see: Constanza, George), tasks?

-Deadliest catch, S? That would be your crabs. Ew.

-why are Ruf's pants tighter than Dan's butthole?

-Aw, Eric's all grown up, Danny DeVito-style.

-as if S. knows what a peace treaty is...

-serena and nate are attorneys-at-hair

-Serena, you are so dumb. Why are you talking to obviously-fake-schemer Juliet?

-"Unless you mean Firth or Farrell, I'm not listening": excellent quote B

-dorota is so wise, like a polish yoda

(sidebar: why is taylor swift everywhere? there is no explanation for why CHFI insists on playing her songs all the goddamn time. i'm on team kanye.)

-Dear Random at the Party, thanks for the CEO of Pepsi tip.

-Blair is the voice of reason. She must have learned it from Dorota.

-Speaking of Dorota, she cleans up nice. Her speech, however, was a bit of a snoozer.

-best ever! rachel zoe covered in chocolate...calories are being absorbed through her skin. "I...die."

-whoa slit, serena. what is the point of sheathing yourself in lime green silk if it's going to be a crotch shot anyways.

-wow. rufus. lily's personal coat-check.

-that firey feeling Chuck is not hatred. It's syphilis.

-Um, ew. Why the grainy video? As if B would agree to sleezy hooker sex on her mom's piano

-FYI, here's what you get when you YouTube "Connie Chung piano":

The Rent is Too Damn High - UP Remix

I'd vote for this guy...

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Happy Chistmas-owe'en!

Happy Halloween!

It's my favourite holiday of the year! If you don't have a costume idea yet, here are some celebrities to inspire you:

NEW YORK - OCTOBER 29: Recording artist Janet Jackson attends the Halloween Extravaganza at Lanvin Boutique on October 29, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images)

Janet Jackson, the Count of Monte Cristo?

Oct. 29, 2010 - New York, New York, U.S. - NBC's ''Today'' Show annual Halloween celebration outside on Rockefeller Plaza in New York City on 10-29-2010.  2010...K65699SMO .WILL FERRELL, TINA FEY. © Red Carpet Pictures

Will Ferrell and Tina Fey. Again, not sure who they are supposed to be.

46839, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Friday October 29 2010. David Arquette and a friend work on their Elvis impersonations before a Halloween party in Beverly Hills. David recently split from his wife of eleven years, actress Courteney Cox. The couple have a six year old daughter called Coco. Photograph:  Hellmuth Dominguez,

David Arquette and a friend as Elvis. This will DEFINITELY win Courteney Cox back.

46841, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Friday October 29 2010. What a Baboon! Leonardo DiCaprio tries to smoke a cigar through his Halloween mask. The Shutter Island actor was outside a private Halloween party in Beverly Hills. Photograph: Hellmuth Dominguez,

Apparently Leonardo DiCaprio is under there. Why does a baboon need 10 cigars?

Two Chow Chows dressed in clown costumes, Fat Choi and Fat Chai, are seen during the Scaredy Cats and Dogs Halloween fund-raising event at a mall in Quezon City October 23, 2010. Some 70 pets participated to raise funds for the Philippine Animal Welfare Society (PAWS)'s Animal Rehabilitation Center, a temporary shelter for more than 100 dogs and cats which were either abandoned or rescued from cruelty or neglect. REUTERS/Cheryl Ravelo (PHILIPPINES - Tags: SOCIETY ANIMALS)

Heather Graham, not wearing much of a costume.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Tuesday Night Pick Me Up: Mr Winkle

HOLLYWOOD - OCTOBER 30:  Actress Kristen Bell appears with Mr. Winkle at the 'In Defense Of Animals Guardian Awards Fundraiser' on October 20, 2004 at Paramount Studios in Hollywood, California.  (Photo by Michael Tullberg/Getty Images)

This dog could bring world peace. I wish Kristen Bell would stop hogging the camera.

北極狗, originally uploaded by hellowamm.

It's MR. WINKLE!!!, originally uploaded by Jillian Pipkin.

From Justin to Bieber

So, Justin Bieber has a movie coming out. About his life. And they are making it sound like he battled against all odds.

What they should really make is a bio about his stage mom who turned a mini-Ellen Degeneres into a golden ticket.

Check out the official trailer here:

Monday, October 25, 2010

The reason why I make taller people walk ahead of me

Nature violating my face. That's what I call it when I get cobweb all over the face. The only other worst thing is getting bird poop in the hair.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Election Day in Toronto - Why Don't We Have The Rent is Too Damn High Party Here?

Jimmy McMillan is running in the New York gubernatorial election on his "the rent is too damn high platform." If only I could vote for Jimmy today, because, you know what? The rent IS too damn high.

Jon Hamm's Sausage is Free Range

Actor Jon Hamm attends a press conference to promote the film The Town during the 35th Toronto International Film Festival September 10, 2010. REUTERS/Fred Thornhill (CANADA - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT PROFILE HEADSHOT)

Breaking "news" from the National Enquirer!! Apparently Jon Hamm doesn't like to wear underwear!!!!!!! What's more explosive? His co-workers apparently want him to cover up. That's how I know this story's a fake. No one in their right mind would ask Don Draper to PUT ON underwear.

The National Enquirer reports as follows:

"KEEP your junk in your trunk and stop going commando!" That's what the cast and crew of the Emmy-winning series Mad Men are saying about star JON HAMM's bizarre "no underwear" rule!

Hamm, who's notorious for skipping skivvies, even has bloggers going nuts over
his not-suitable for- work attire, an insider told The ENQUIRER.

"Jon refuses to wear underwear and there have been so many close calls on the set that someone finally had
to tell him to secure his goods," a source confided.

"During filming, his character has had to wear some very short shorts, and that's when everyone's especially on edge. Some of the actresses and crew members wouldn't mind a sneak peek, but the majority of the cast and crew don't want Jon to accidentally expose himself."

Hamm - who plays brooding ad man Don Draper on the hit AMC series - is "getting a kick out
of all the fuss," says the source.

"Jon thinks it's hilarious."

In other Jon Hamm-related news, he will be hosting SNL next week with Rihanna as the musical guest.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Sports for Girls!

I actually love sports. But I don't care about baseball until the World Series finals, if at all. If Pat Borders came out of retirement, and Kelly Gruber Pantened his luscious locks, I might watch again. Until then, I am YouTubing alternate sports content:

(1) Fat guy bike blooper:

Jared's friends are mean. But so am I because I've watched this video about 10 times in a row.

(2) Tommy Lasorda getting hit by a ball:

He's old, so I shouldn't laugh. But he's fat, so it's funny.

(3) Baseball manager goes nuts:

(4) Pony tail man jumps for football:

Not great quality, but you can sort of see his ponytail sailing through the air.

(5) Football players losing pants:

And here's one from the WWE:

High Five Worthy

Have you done something high five worthy today? What are you waiting for?!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Parkour Dog

There may be no unicorns in the Don Valley... but in The Ukraine they have parkour dogs!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Down by the School Yard

Violence on the playground never gets the girl.

And, because children lip syncing is almost always awesome... here's an oldie but a goodie:

Monday, October 18, 2010

UPDATE: Unicorns Still Remain Mythical, Video a Cruel Hoax, Weirdos Everywhere Disillusioned

Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!! Millions of people who wear medieval clothes recreationally are refilling their prescriptions of Prozac after news broke that the Toronto unicorn was a hoax!

According to an Australian newspaper:

FOOTAGE of a unicorn running though a wood has been exposed as an elaborate hoax to promote an upcoming science exhibition.

In order to commemorate the mystical beast, please enjoy this clip from the '80s hit, The Last Unicorn:

And here's a clip of people LARPing in Montreal:


Unicorn Licking the Rainbow, originally uploaded by Lissie_Loo.

Some weirdos believe they have captured a photo of the mystical unicorn:

According to the UK Sun:

INCREDIBLE footage apparently shows a UNICORN prancing through woods.

A group of intrepid myth hunters supposedly spotted the magical beast — but there's more to this fairytale than meets the eye.

In an official statement, the Ontario Science Centre, in Toronto, Canada, claimed to have been sent the footage by a mamber of the public for analysis.

But they later admitted making it themselves to promote an upcoming exhibition on mythical creatures.

The statement said: "The Science Centre is reviewing the footage frame-by-frame to determine whether the claim is legitimate.

"With closer examination, we hope to establish whether or not a genuine unicorn sighting has occurred.

"In the meantime, the Science Centre is asking the public to use caution if they think they see a unicorn - do not make any sudden movements or attempt to use flash photography.

"Although legends of unicorns state they are peaceful creatures, scientists worry they may harm themselves or others if they end up on a road or highway."

During the elaborate ruse, the centre even went as far as to set up an emergency unicorn hotline for the public for further information on unicorns or to report any unusual or questionable sightings.

Centre spokesman Christine Crosbie said: "We've received calls from all kinds of people, predominantly women, and some confused news reporters, in response to the video.

"The reactions have been amazing — women wish it were true.

"Although some keen-eyed spectators have reported knowing the video was fake by the way the unicorn's tail moves and the fact it is not pure white.

"It's still alive in our culture even though we don't have any proof scientifically."

Here's the video, judge for yourself:

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Jon Hamm has Michael Jackson Disease, Remains Perfect

TORONTO, ON - SEPTEMBER 11: Actor Jon Hamm arrives at 'The Town' Premiere held at Roy Thomson Hall during the 35th Toronto International Film Festival on September 11, 2010 in Toronto, Canada. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

The following article was published by the Toronto Sun:

The stress of shooting Mad Men has landed the period drama's star Jon Hamm with a nasty case of vitiligo.

The actor's hands have become discoloured in places thanks to the skin disease and he puts it down to the long hours he spends fretting about his character Don Draper on the show.

He tells Rolling Stone magazine, "You do have to be mentally acute for a significant period of time, and that becomes pretty draining.

"I have vitiligo. It's stress-oriented. It comes and goes and waxes and wanes. This did not exist before the show."

Whatevs. Here's a clip of someone filming their TV, starring Hamm playing baseball.

i wonder if rob ford also kicks children in the face

self-explanatory and awesome:

Friday, October 15, 2010


Ever have a week that felt like it just crawled along? I mean really crawled... like kitten on a tortoise's back slow...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Danza: an insult to the teaching profession!

I recently told a good friend of mine who is a teacher about Danza's reality show where he teaches high school English and my friend felt professionally insulted. I sort of shrugged off her response until seeing this clip. Now, I also find what Danza's doing to be not only career suicide but kind of offensive to the teaching profession.

In this interview, Danza says that there is a real problem with education in this country. Well yes Danza, if they are hiring YOU as a teacher there is most definitely a SERIOUS problem in America's education system!

I love how Danza is an ENGLISH teacher and then very eloquently tells the camera, "you know you think you know so much and then you find out YOU DUNNO NOTHIN"

I did love to see him cry though and would have given my right arm to see one of his cabaret productions in the school auditorium!

here's another link to more of Danza's tears:

Shoppin' Danza!

I was having a pretty boring Wednesday night so I decided to click on Danza's website:, and whadya know, his website has a shopping page!

Danza is not only selling his world famous cook book, "Don't fill up on the antipasto" but also his own CD! Everyone, get your credit cards out, this opportunity can NOT be missed!

Check out this clip promoting the book! Danza pulls out all the stops to sucker people into a sale: he exploits his son, grandson, got his hair straightened, and even rocks out on a ukulele!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

(Not so) Live Blogging Gossip Girl

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JULY 29: Actor Ed Westwick speaks onstage during the 'Gossip Girl' panel during the 2010 Summer TCA Tour Day 2 at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on July 29, 2010 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

-Glad to see Serena is covering her hooters for class. But why is she taking a cab, when clearly she can afford a personal driver?

-ha ha! size 8 - I love that guy

-why does the prison guy have a picture of Nate in his pocket? Is he seriously on the Gossip Girl website in prison, printing in colour and then cutting out pics? Maybe he smuggled it into prison in his anus (sorry!)

-maybe Dan's chest fur should be checked for crabs

-Do professors really text students these days? I don't think so (said in Kevin McCalister voice)

-Vanessa why are you being so dumb? You're competing with Nate for dumb-dumbness

-Powerful career woman? You are corrupting yourself for a date Professor Idiot (I'm tired)

-Blaming Vanessa over conniving Juliet? Argh! Did they all forget her evil ways from LAST WEEK.

-I love the Blair vs Chuck wars, but Chuck seems a little too vigilante - he slept with his 15 year old step-sister who he previously tried to rape - that's a little bit worse than scaring off Frenchie

Monday, October 11, 2010

Celebrities with Moobs

In case you haven't heard, moobs=man boobs. The word moobs is an incredible addition to the English language, unlike 'jeggings'. Here are some celebs that could use a manssiere:

(1) Jack Black

LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 12:  Actor Jack Black accepts the Best Voice award onstage during Spike TV's 7th Annual Video Game Awards at the Nokia Event Deck at LA Live on December 12, 2009 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)

Not too high on the moobage meter, but he's at least an A-cup

(2) Jorge Garcia

37300, OAHU, HAWAII - Saturday Janaury 30 2010. Jorge Garcia at the premiere of the final season of Lost . The last-ever series of TV drama - which has been running since 2004 - has fans buzzing with anticipation over which of the cliffhanger story lines they have followed over the last six years will finally be resolved. It is estimated over 10.000 fans crammed onto Waikiki Beach to watch the opening two-hour episode of the show's fianle. Photograph: Will Binns,

Now that Lost is over, will Hurley shed weight and deflate his man cans?

(3) James Caan

30002, BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA - Wednesday April 8 2009. James Caan waits for his ride home after joining Jon Voight on a boy's night out. The Hollywood hard guys dined at the exclusive Madeo's in Beverly Hills. Photograph: © Anthony, UK OFFICE: 131 557 7760/7761 US OFFICE:1 310 261 9676

Who knew he was so skanky showing off his man-nips?

(4)Ronnie from Jersey Shore

43578, SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NEW JERSEY - Saturday August 14, 2010. The cast of Jersey Shore soak up the sunshine at Seaside Heights. Jersey Shore crew, Mike The Situation takes a break during his work at the store. Jenny, goes for a coffee on her break. Deena, Vinny, Ronnie and Pauly walk together to grab some lunch before hitting the beach. Pauly, Vinny, Ronnie, Sammy and friends hit the beach to topup their tans. Photographer:   Castro,

Ronnie's moobs are more muscular than the others on the list, but they are massive!

(5) Simon Cowell

45861, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM - Thursday October 7 2010. Simon Cowell outside The X Factor Fountain studios ahead of this Saturday's first live finals show. Photograph:

Always with the tight v-necks, and consequently, always with the moobs

(6) Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons

Check out the Bro/Man clip from Seinfeld:

Thursday, October 7, 2010

People Whose Hair I Have an Insatiable Need to Cut

I honestly can't even look at these people without wanting to chop off their ridiculous coifs.

(1) Justin "the Bieb" Bieber

Sept. 12, 2010 - Hollywood, California, U.S. - Singer Justin Bieber attends the 2010 MTV Video Music Awardsl at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live in Los Angeles, USA, on september 12th, 2010. K65753AM. © Red Carpet Pictures

Where does it come from? It's like the world's biggest comb over.

(2) Chad Rogers from Million Dollar Listing

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 08: TV Personality Chad Rogers attends the 17th Annual EIF Revlon Run/Walk For Women on May 8, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Valerie Macon/Getty Images)

Chad is the original Bieber head. He is totally OCD about his stupid haircut and he's a huge d-bag.

(3) Russell Brand

LONDON - OCTOBER 14:  (UK TABLOID NEWSPAPERS OUT) Comedian Russell Brand poses in the pressroom at the The Secret Policeman's Ball at The Royal Albert Hall on October 14, 2006 in London, England.  The event sees the launch of Amnesty International's 'Protect The Human Week' and is based on the series of comedy shows created thirty years ago by John Cleese and fellow comedians promoting human rights.  (Photo by Claire Greenway/Getty Images)

Russell Brand has one of the most annoying heads ever. He dresses 'rock and roll' the same way rich kids from my high school dressed like hippies. He has somehow managed to only accept acting roles where his stupid hair gets to stay as is. The sad part is that he could have a hot face. Ok, that picture above is from 2006. He has since ditched the hand-in-an-electric-socket look for more of a 90s bridesmaid style:

45732, GLASGOW, SCOTLAND - Tuesday October 5, 2010. Russell Brand poses with fans in Edinburgh during his book signing tour for his second book Booky Wook 2 . Photograph:  Fred Lee,

(4) Nicolas Cage

Photo by: SD/Sevenpixnews/  2010 Nicolas Cage visits Barcelona, Spain, with his wife, Alice Kim, and his son, Kel- El. (Barcelona, Spain) Photo via Newscom

I don't want to cut his hair as much as I want him to grow some goddamn sideburns!!! You look like Don Mattingly in the Simpsons softball episode: