People Whose Hair I Have an Insatiable Need to Cut

I honestly can't even look at these people without wanting to chop off their ridiculous coifs.

(1) Justin "the Bieb" Bieber



Where does it come from? It's like the world's biggest comb over.

(2) Chad Rogers from Million Dollar Listing



Chad is the original Bieber head. He is totally OCD about his stupid haircut and he's a huge d-bag.

(3) Russell Brand



Russell Brand has one of the most annoying heads ever. He dresses 'rock and roll' the same way rich kids from my high school dressed like hippies. He has somehow managed to only accept acting roles where his stupid hair gets to stay as is. The sad part is that he could have a hot face. Ok, that picture above is from 2006. He has since ditched the hand-in-an-electric-socket look for more of a 90s bridesmaid style:



(4) Nicolas Cage



I don't want to cut his hair as much as I want him to grow some goddamn sideburns!!! You look like Don Mattingly in the Simpsons softball episode: